Lawyers are the true most people on Earth. Ha ha ha. Sorry, we are not allowed to lie publically. But these jokes are truly hilarious.
A tourist wandered into a dimly-lit old San Fransisco antiques shop, down in china town. Perusing the shelves, he discovered an amazingly life-sized and life-like bronze sculpture of a rat. He had to have it and asked the shopkeeper how much it cost.
"$12 for the rat," said the shopkeeper, "and $500 more for the fascinating story behind it."
"Old man, you can keep the story," the tourist replied, "but I'll take the rat."
As he left the store with the bronze rat, two live rats emerged from the sewer and started following him. The tourist looked over his shoulder and began walking faster, but more and more rats started following him. As people pointed and shouted the tourist was in a panic.
Walking faster and faster he soon began to run as the rats started appearing from old abandoned cars, basements and sewers. He ran as fast as he could to the waterfront as millions of squealing rats kept up with him. With his last bastion of strength he scrambled up a lampost and with all his might hurled the bronze rat far out into the bay, whereupon the squealing rats surged over the breakwater into the sea and drowned.
Gathering himself together, he trundled back to the shop, "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," said the shop owner with a wise grin.
"No," replied the tourist, "But I was wondering whether you carried bronze lawyers?"