Animals are so cute even when they can't speak. Just imagine what would happen if they start speaking their thoughts. Check ut for yourself.
Russia and the U.S. were at the peak of the Cold War when they realized that they were going to destroy the entire world - several times over, even - if they kept competing by creating and using the traditional kinds of weapons.
So, they had a meeting.

After long and arduous negotiations they decided that a dog fight was a great way to settle the dispute.

They decided that five years would be sufficient time in which to breed the perfect dog, after which the dog fight would ensue. The loser would have to give up all of their weapons and surrender to the victor, who would then rule the entire world.

While a bit silly, this seemed like a good solutions to all parties involved. At least it didn't include destroying the world.

The Russians wasted no time and spent months searching the world to find the meanest, most vicious dog that they could. They came up with a huge, crazy dog that was part Rottweiler and part dire wolf. They mated this dog with a second most vicious dog they had found - a particularly nasty and unstable Doberman Pinscher.

Then, from the resulting litter, they picked the biggest and most aggressive one of the puppies.

This wild dog was given the mother’s milk enriched with nutrients plus testosterone, steroids and all sorts of other hormones.

After the five years had passed, the dog was one exceptionally mean monster.

The day of the fight came, and the Americans trotted out their dog. It was weiner dog, a tiny dachshund. The Russians laughed as they set their dog on the American dog.

The minute the Russian dog came near the American dog, the little dachshund opened his mouth and gobbled down the Russian dog in one bite.

The Russians were boggled. "But we spent five years training and breeding our dog to be the biggest, meanest dog ever!"

The Americans replied, "Yeah, well, we spent five years figuring out how to make an alligator look like a dachshund."