These Jokes are best suited to People who Drink because they'll understand Most of the Jokes when not Drunk.
There was a businessman, and he was feeling really crook, and he went to see the Doctor about it.

The doctor says to him, "Well, it must be your diet, what sort of greens do you eat?"

The man replies, "Well, actually, I only eat peas, I hate all other green foods."

The doctor was quite shocked at this and says, "Well man, that's your problem, all those peas will be clogging up your system, you'll have to give them up!!"

The guy says, "But how long for, I mean I really like peas!"

The doctor replies, "Forever, I'm afraid"

The man is quite shocked by this, but he gives it a go and sure enough, his condition improves, so he realises that he will never eat a pea again.

Anyway, one night, years later, he's at a convention for his employer and getting quite sloshed.

One of the reps says, "Well, actually, I'd love a cigarette, because I haven't had a smoke in four years, I gave it up."

Quite a shocker really, and the barman goes, "Really, I haven't had a game of golf in 3 years, because it cost me my first marriage, so i gave it up!"

The businessman says. "That's nothing, I haven't had a pea in 7 years."

The barman jumps up screaming, "Ok, everyone who can't swim, grab a table...."