Searching for a laugh? Your sense of humor is about to explode with comedy inside. Prepare to witness the Best Laughs from Jokes ever.

A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand.

The turtle's one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are
bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape.

The bartender looks at the guy and asks: "What's wrong with
your turtle?"

"Not a thing," the man responds, this beat up turtle is faster
than your dog!"

"Not a chance!" replies the barkeep.

"Okay then, says the guy... you take your dog and let him stand
at one end of the bar. Then go and stand at the other end of
the room and call your dog. I'll bet you $500 that before your
dog reaches you, my turtle will be there."

So the bartender, thinking it's an easy $500, agrees. The
bartender goes to the other side of the bar, and on the count
of three calls his dog.

Suddenly the guy picks up his turtle and throws it across the
room, narrowly missing the bartender, and smashing into the
wall and says -

"I win."