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A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first act intermission, he had to urinate in the worst way.

He hurried to the back of the theatre and searched in vain for the men's room.

At last he came upon a fountain surrounded by pretty foliage. He realized that he had wandered backstage. Noting that no one was around, and in desperatation, he opened his pants and pissed into the fountain.

He had difficulty finding his way back to the auditorium, and by the time he sat down next to his wife, the curtain was up and the actors were moving about on the stage.

"Did I miss much of he second act?" he whispered.

"Miss it?" she said, "You were in it."