Searching for a laugh? Your sense of humor is about to explode with comedy inside. Prepare to witness the Best Laughs from Jokes ever.

Buying Glasses
Panda and Pande decided to buy new glasses to drink bhang on Holi. At the shop, the glasses were on display, upturned to prevent accumulation of dust inside. Puzzled, the two Pandus studied the glasses.

"What strange bhang glasses are these?" Panda asked in disbelief. "The tops are closed! How are you supposed to fill them with bhang?"

"Even if you do open the glass," replied Pande, studying another glass. "How will the bhang stay in the glass if the bottom is open?"

Hanging from the Roof
Mrs. Pandey is astonished. There in the living-room, Mr. Pandey, and his friend Mr. Panda have tied themselves to the roof at the neck, and are happily bouncing around with smiling faces.
"What is this stupidity ?" she asked.
"We are the new Halogen Lamps!" both shouted in unison.
"Nonsense, now get down from there!" she scolded.
"Oh no, don't do that! We won't have any light any more!"

Escaping through the Key-hole
Panda and Pandey are in jail for their links with terrorist groups and Caste Sena's.
"Come on, let us escape by crawling through the Key-hole!" exclaims Pandey in a fit of genius.
"Fine. You start," said Panda.
So Pandey runs at the key-hole and bangs against the door, falling back onto the cell-room floor.
"What happened ?" asked Panda.
Replied Pandey: "It won't work - the key is in the hole!"

Covering Oneself

Panda and Pande are on pilgrimage to various holy places across India, and sleep under a mango tree.
"I am cold," said Pande.
"Why don't you cover yourself with that ladder over there then?" suggested Panda.
The next morning Panda asked Pande, "Were you cold last night?"
"Yes, one of the spokes was missing."

Playing Chess with Kasparov
It was during the days of Indo-Soviet friendship, and travel from one country to the other was regular. Pande, a Government bureacrat, was promoted for being a Brahmin close to Nehru, and was flying from Moscow to Delhi after completing some Government work in Moscow. To his surprise, sitting right beside him was Gary Kasporov, the world Chess Champion. Pande had always been in awe of Chess players, and immediately started a conversation with Gary.
Kasparov: "How would you like to play me for 500 Rs. ?"
Pande: "But you are too good - you will beat me and I will lose my money!".
Gary: "How about if I play left-handed"?
"Then I might have a chance," thought Pande and he accepted the offer. Kasparov checkmated our Panditji in 4 moves.
Pande was still scratching his head as he left the airplane. Upon reaching Mathura, Pande told Panda about the game he had with Kasparov.
Panda: "*Tu bhi pura buddhu hai, Pande*". (You're an absolute fool, Pande)
Pande: "*Kyon*" (Why)?
Panda: "*Are Chootiya! Gary Kasparov Left-handed hai!*". (You Stupid! Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed!).

Mickey Mouse and the Ramayana
Once, Mickey Mouse came to Pandeey to hear a recitation of the Ramayana.
"Panditji Pandeey-Sahib, Mickey Mouse is here to hear you recite the Ramayana of Valmiki," said his assistant Pandaa.
"Go, hang him from the wall!" exclaimed Pandeey.
"Why?" asked Pandaa in surprise.
Replied Pandeey, "So that people will then call him 'Vaall-Mickey', and he will then start reciting the Ramayana on his own."

Typing Skills
Once, Panda and Pande were composing a letter, with Panda dictating to Pande. Soon, Panda was thoroughly disgusted with Panda's typing speed.
"Pande, I will cut off your hands now!" shouted Panda. "*Me tumhara dono hath ko kaatunga!*"
"Why?" asked Pande. "*Kyo*?"
"Since you don't know typing, at least you will learn shorthand. *Typing to nahi ata, tho shaarthand seekh lo!* said Panda.

Saving the Boat
Pandaa and Pandeey are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts gushing inside.
"Now what to we do ?" asked Pandaa.
Replied Pandeey, "Make one more hole. *Ek aur hole bana do*. And write 'IN' on one hole and 'OUT' on the other hole, so that the water will come in through one hole and go out through the other!"

Letter to Pande
Dear Pande,

I'm writing this real slow cause I know you can't read very fast. We don't live where we did when you left. We read in the paper that most accidents happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day mama put four shirts in, pulled the chain and we have not seen them since. Its only rained here twice this week. three days the first time and five days the second time. I know its cold where you are so we're sending you a coat. Ma said it would be too heavy to mail with them buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

My sister had a baby this morning. I haven't heard whether it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt. Uncle Sharma fell in the big whiskey vat. When they tried to pull him out, he fought them off, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your Friend Panda, from Mathura.
P.S : I was planning to enclose the money that I owe you with this envelope, but I had already sealed this by then.

Car Keys
One day Panda was chiding Pande for leaving his keys inside the car. 'If I take them out of the car I lose them,' Pande reasoned.
'Yes, Pande, but what if someone steals your car?' Panda countered.
'Oh, that is okay,' Pande chirped happily. 'I keep a spare key in the glove box!'

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