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Two Russian hunters meet.

"I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"

"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.

"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out, you shoot."

Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages.

"Didn't you follow my advice?" Ivan asks.

"Sure, I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled," Sergei replies.

"And what came out?

"To me," says Sergei, "it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express.