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Funny Quotes about Marriage

"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
--Woody Allen.

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
--Rodney Dangerfield.

"Aj, yes, divocer.. from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams.

"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing."
--Duane Dewel.

"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead os the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad."
--Helen Rowland.

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.. The rest cheat in Europe."
--Jackie Mason.

"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel."
--Leonardo Di Vinici.

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
--Lewis Grizzard.

"I'm the only man in the world with a marriage license made out to whom it may concern."
--Mickey Rooney.

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
--Rodney Dangerfield.

"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."
--Johney Carson

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