Lawyers are the true most people on Earth. Ha ha ha. Sorry, we are not allowed to lie publically. But these jokes are truly hilarious.
A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

A few minutes later, he says to no one in particular, "All lawyers are assholes."

The fellow next to him lit into him. "How dare you just stereotypically categorize all lawyers as assholes? How have you missed that it's just not okay to cast aspersions on an entire group of people? You just try saying something like that about any other group of people and you'd get slugged. And you should! If you weren't such a jerk, I'd pour my drink all over you, but you're not worth the cost of my drink."

The fellow was properly abashed, and apologized. "Look, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," he says, "By the way, what kind of lawyer are you?"

"Lawyer? I'm no lawyer, you idiot. I'm an asshole!"
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