Lawyers are the true most people on Earth. Ha ha ha. Sorry, we are not allowed to lie publically. But these jokes are truly hilarious.
by Skippy 15 Apr 2012, 08:38
Attorney: So, doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the cause of
death of the patient?

Doctor: That's correct.

Attorney: Did you examine the patient when he came to the emergency room?

Doctor: No, I performed the autopsy.

Attorney: Okay, were you aware of his vital signs while he was at the

Doctor: Yes, he came in to the emergency room in shock and died in the
emergency room a short time after arriving.

Attorney: Did you pronounce him dead at that time?

Doctor: No, I am the pathologist who performed the autopsy. I was not
involved with the patient initially.

Attorney: Well, are you even sure, then, that he died in the emergency

Doctor: That is what the records indicate.

Attorney: But if you weren't there, how could you have pronounced him
dead, having not seen or physically examined the patient at that time?

Doctor: The autopsy showed massive hemorrhage into the chest, and that was
the cause of death.

Attorney: I understand that, but you were not actually present to examine
the patient and pronounce him dead, isn't that right?

Doctor: No, sir, I did not see the patient or actually pronounce him dead,
but I did perform an autopsy and right now his brain is in a jar over at
the county morgue. As for the rest of the patient, for all I know, he
could be out practicing law somewhere.