Lawyers are the true most people on Earth. Ha ha ha. Sorry, we are not allowed to lie publically. But these jokes are truly hilarious.
Attorney: So, doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the cause of
death of the patient?

Doctor: That's correct.

Attorney: Did you examine the patient when he came to the emergency room?

Doctor: No, I performed the autopsy.

Attorney: Okay, were you aware of his vital signs while he was at the
hospital?

Doctor: Yes, he came in to the emergency room in shock and died in the
emergency room a short time after arriving.

Attorney: Did you pronounce him dead at that time?

Doctor: No, I am the pathologist who performed the autopsy. I was not
involved with the patient initially.

Attorney: Well, are you even sure, then, that he died in the emergency
room?

Doctor: That is what the records indicate.

Attorney: But if you weren't there, how could you have pronounced him
dead, having not seen or physically examined the patient at that time?

Doctor: The autopsy showed massive hemorrhage into the chest, and that was
the cause of death.

Attorney: I understand that, but you were not actually present to examine
the patient and pronounce him dead, isn't that right?

Doctor: No, sir, I did not see the patient or actually pronounce him dead,
but I did perform an autopsy and right now his brain is in a jar over at
the county morgue. As for the rest of the patient, for all I know, he
could be out practicing law somewhere.
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