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An old: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.

Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

It isn't widely known, but the first toilet seat was invented by an Irish scientist in the 18th century. The invention was later modified by an English inventor who put a hole in the seat.