As the name suggests, this section is for Girls and only for girls. Boys Strictly prohibited. For girls, they can talk or do almost anything they want, from gossiping to criticizing, from jewellery to clothes. They have a wide range of Topics to talk about.

It's not you, it's me

This roughly translates as, "it's not me, it's you".

I haven't touched it

ImageYou've been looking for something for ages, so you ask her if she's seen it. "I haven't touched it!" she cries, somewhat defensively. She looks down at her magazine and refuses to look you in the eye.

Which almost certainly means that she did see it, about three seconds before she chucked it in the bin. That's even more likely if the 'it' in question is a) your lucky pulling pants, b) something given to you by an ex-girlfriend or c) Playboy.

I've got a headache

ImageBefore the 1990s, "I've got a headache" was sitcom shorthand for "stop pestering me for sex". Female leads were contractually obliged to utter it at least twice an episode.

Of course, no self-respecting woman would use that hoary old line in the 21st century. Instead they use, "I've got an STD", or "I've got post traumatic stress syndrome (after the last time)", or even, "I absolutely hate having sex with you".

It's what I've always wanted

So you carefully consider her personality, interests and tastes, fight through the Christmas crowds and come away with a present you know she'll love. And of course she hates it.

There's a chance it's not a lie and she really does love it, but you'll get an inkling of the truth on Boxing Day when she asks if you kept the receipt, "just in case".

I don't fancy anyone else!

We should probably accept that, just as we fancy other women, our partners fancy other men. That doesn't mean your own wife or girlfriend will do anything about it, or that she fancies anyone more than you, or that she'd rather be with someone else. It just means that, occasionally, she quite likes the look of another bloke.

By claiming otherwise she is clearly lying, but at least she's lying in a good cause. And the only proper and adult response to her breezy dismissal of the buff, chiselled heartthrob at the other end of the bar is to say, "good job too - everyone knows Dave's gay."

By Hugh Wilson, MSN Him

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