Animals are so cute even when they can't speak. Just imagine what would happen if they start speaking their thoughts. Check ut for yourself.
Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape -- that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture.

I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another.
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